I took down a jar of orange marmalade
From the inbuilt shelf.
I strained to touch the glass
That held semi-liquid bliss.
I smeared the sugary rind and pulp
On a browned slice.
Baking the plump bread
Crisping from soft white.
I tasted the bitter-sweet natural flavour
On my tongue and skin.
I sipped a cup of tea that
The marmalade weakened.
And I waited.
And I waited.
The next day
I cleared the crumbs and wiped the spilled tea.
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Rat! Awesome poem. A suggestion: make it more stream-of-consciousness-y. Like, take out "I" and put in active verbs. Take out "natural flavour" and make it "Tasting bitter sweet". :) Try it if you want, no pressure. Awesome though! :))
ReplyDelete=) Yeah it'll definitely be better in stream-of-consciousness format. I'll see what I can do.
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